Author Topic: Is it me?  (Read 10620 times)

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Offline MC

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Is it me?
« on: February 25, 2003, 12:56:35 am »
We've seen many a posting about inconsiderate behaviour on this web-site and indeed this is really the primary slant to about 80% of the input.

Which is also fairly inevitable and fair enough etc etc

I've almost stopped posting here for a variety of reasons but a couple of things happened in the last few days that make me want to ask - is it me?

Firstly are the attendees at the Primary School jumble sale so unbelievably lazy that they really must park as close as possible to the entrance even if it means lines of cars on the previously grassy verges. The road was  almost impassable and I can imagine the residents of Bradmore Way were somewhat dischuffed.

I am also sure that the people responsible would be up in arms if people parked on their lawns and verges. Still, who cares about anyone else just so long as you don't have to walk more than 30ft eh?

Reasonable neighbourly behaviour or is it me?

Secondly I'd like to thank the individual who let their dog **** in the middle of my front lawn.

I know it is funny at one level and I'm smiling writing this but when you think it through it's just disgusting and hugely disrespectful.

I've never seen a stray dog in the road so there must have been an owner nearby........

Is it me?

What is it that has happened in the last few years - not just in BP but everywhere - that has made people so darn selfish?

Another great example - aside from the occasional bonfire of course :-) - would be the parking on yellow lines because "finding a proper space is too difficult and I'm only buying a lottery ticket"

Thoughts?? Is it me?

M
« Last Edit: May 03, 2003, 02:55:40 am by MC »
 

Offline jet

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2003, 01:11:49 am »
no its me :)
wellcome to the miserable old git club.
You should have some consideration and realise that most people are just too busy to be considerate. :D
regards,
jet
founder member
« Last Edit: February 25, 2003, 01:13:25 am by jet »
 

Offline Margaret

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2003, 10:07:44 am »
I guess it must be me too, can I join the club.
 

Offline sasquartch

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2003, 11:51:42 am »
Despite having been described as a bonfire moron in the past (which of course I'm not as my bonfires are a. infrequent, and b. not a nusiance  :D) I'd agree totally with MC. Whether it's people parking or letting their dog's crap on the pavement, the fact is that society has become increasingly antisocial.

Maybe it's because I'm becoming an old git, albeit not a miserable one.

All I can do is try and instill some old fashioned values into my children, I don't believe it's everyone, as usual a small minority spoil things for the majority.


 

John_fraser

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2003, 12:40:22 pm »
Cars are truly amazing. They make us lazy. Even people going to the gym seem unable to walk the final stretch. They make us inconsiderate. Holding up the traffic while you pop in to buy the paper, because the closest proper parking space is too far to walk in your new lazy state, doesn’t matter. They make us arrogant, because everyone else on the road is the problem and we can drive at excess speed. They make us aggressive as we sit swear at another driver for daring to poke his nose out, travel too slowly, not indicating, not giving way or for just being there.

Likewise, people don’t seem to realise that their dog’s mess is their responsibility. It may not be pleasant to have to dispose of it, but it isn’t pleasant to step in it or see your child pick it up. No-one allows their dog to mess up their living room, so why do they allow them to mess up the pavements?

Before we all get on our high horses about the state of the country, please remember that everyone of us is guilty of inconsiderate behaviour. This sort of behaviour is simply where the impact on others is not really considered. So by definition, we frequently don’t realise we’re being inconsiderate or - no better - fail to realise how big the impact is.

So while we may not have committed the examples above, there are plenty of others:

  • Do you always slow down to allow pedestrians to cross the road in the rain?
  • Have you ever splashed a pedestrian?
  • Was the chocolate you’re so fond of produced with slave labour?
  • Do you drive when you could use public transport?
  • How ethically is your pension invested?
  • Do annoy people using your phone in a public place?
  • Do you try to support the local community through its shops, schools, churches, community centre, pubs etc?
  • Do you recycle?
  • Did you buy a new mobile phone and arguably help prolong the war in the Congo?
  • Do you avoid paying taxes where possible?
  • Are your cheep holiday flights helping fuel the expansion of airports, resulting in the destruction of homes, communities and quality of life for thousands?
  • Do you vote?
  • Do you swear?


So before we bemoan the state of the world we should examine our own behaviour.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2003, 12:41:11 pm by John_fraser »
 

Offline MC

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2003, 06:07:47 pm »
Is it me or do some people go right off the thread and post a load of thoughts that are, at best, only loosely connected with the original issue??

And thus another valid local topic gets side-tracked.

I am talking about day to day simple actions that people take which are entirely inconsiderate.

I am talking about simple things that do not have a linkage to external dependencies that may make people do things they would actually prefer not to do.

I am talking about simple things that are therefore entirely governed by the persons choice of action.

So can we stick to the subject for once and decide whether "it's just me" on that basis?

Having reviewed JFs bullet list this means I have to exclude everything in it. These are all things where people might not have a choice. Quite apart from which a couple of items are so off the wall I don't know how to comment.

Second, for the record and just in case you all thought I was joking the dog really had crapped in the middle of my front lawn. The pavement and the street is bad enough but...........

Lastly while I know Jet is joking to an extent I have to warn against accepting the miserable old git label. Perhaps instead you, I, all of us here are the people with some civilised standards and it's just that many other people are utter s****.

I'd welcome further serious thoughts on this.

But on a lighter note perhaps we should start a Club. Question is would it be MOGC or OPAUSC?

M
 

John_fraser

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2003, 06:42:29 pm »
I didn’t think I was off topic – unless the topic was “what others do that really gets to me.”

The point I tried and failed to make was “Don’t look for the speck of dust in your brother’s eye…” The inconsiderate or selfish actions that annoy us are not - usually - carried out by evil people with malicious forethought. They are mostly carried out by ordinary, decent people who have failed to think through the effect of what they are doing. These inconsiderate people are exactly like us, our friends, our neighbours, our children. And guess what? Sometimes they are our friends, our neighbours, our children and especially us!

People are no more selfish than they have ever been, teenagers are no ruder, music is no worse. It was always like this, but you probably never noticed before.
 

Offline jet

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2003, 07:01:38 pm »
oh dear, I was trying to let this one die a death but must have a tiny say :)
It is a fact that to most people under 21, all people older than that are in fact miserable old gits. :o
Having lived here for 18.58 years the place has gone down hill at an accelerating rate, parents did not allow their children to let the family name down by missbehaving, youths did not gather and swear in the village centre as they now do, loud music and partys did not happen at all, people never parked on verges and bonfires took place at night during appropriate weather conditions,etc etc.  >:(
It all went downhill in the property crash of the mid 90s when some undesirable elements moved in and instead of adapting to village life, brought the place down to their ignorant urban level. :(
Its not imagination I have seen it.
Now I am going to change threads in mid stream, go take a look at the past pupils comments about our local "senior" school in www.friendsreunited.co.uk (yes most of us can be found there) I leave it to the reader to decide wether they think the pupils of that school are in any way superior as quite frankly to me they read as rather imature :(
Dogs tu**s are unpleasant but they don't spoil anyones peace and are easilly disposed of via the paper towel or lawnmower (yeuk) method. They can have the side effect of causing walking around in circles to aflict anyone who falls "foul" of them ;)
What have phones to do with the Congo?
regards,
jet
oh dear MC, JF,sas & jet all posting together "deja vu"
« Last Edit: February 25, 2003, 07:09:18 pm by jet »
 

Offline anna

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #8 on: February 25, 2003, 07:38:57 pm »
I'm confused. JF are you saying splashing people on a rainy day is wrong?? I always thought that was quite funny  ;)

I totally disagree with you JF. It hasn't always been this way.  Children used to be afraid of getting in trouble at school, afraid of disobeying their parents.  I'm not saying I agree with hitting children at school or at home, but the basic respect has gone in many people.  I will not let my kids be sloppy about their manners.  

If you have an animal, it is the responsibility of the owner to clear up its mess. Years ago the risks were unknown, now we understand that dog mess can be very dangerous to children, it can cause blindness even to an unborn child if a mother touches it.  Owners who do not take responsibility should be banned from keeping pets.  I am a dog owner, so I know how tough it can be........but then you know that when you get the animal in the first place.

Fact is, basic respect has gone. I just walked past a group of kids in the village, from BP school, not chancellors. I had my children with me, and as we walked past them they started swearing.......(kids of 10!!) I turned round to them and, said do you mind, I don't allow my children to hear that sort of language......instead of a sorry, I was greeted with a gaggle of laughter and told to F*** Off. I was disgusted.  Of course my kids have heard these words, sadly most kids know swear words, but it's very important to know when not to use them!  

Yet, we can't judge everyone. In a queue recently I was stood behind a bunch of older lads.....(17,18) and one of them swore, immediately he turned round and said "I'm so sorry"

We can't judge everyone, there are many good people in this village, there are some delightful kids.......however, I agree that standards are going down, and this comes from the home.

I don't know about everyone else, but I feel I spend a lot of my time angry. I hate it when I go into a shop to spend money, and the assistant doesn't even bother to look at me cause they are too busy talking. I hate it when I stop to let a car go and no one says thank you.  I get angry when I want to go out and someone has blocked my drive. People are rude, People can't be bothered to smile............We don't just have road rage anymore.......we have life rage!

Okay.....think I qualify for the club now as well!

By the way, MC, not that I am trying to stir things, but I often park near your house, and there is indeed a dog that is often roaming around with out a lead, he nearly got run over once and we were trying to work out which house he was from to return him.


 

Mary_Morgan

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2003, 09:32:53 pm »
I, like MC, have virtually stopped posting.   But I do like this one.

MC: You are right.  Courtesy, good manners and consideration for others are somewhat lacking these days. "Do unto others as you would be...." Matthew 7.12 I think  

I do take issue with JF:

Does anyone consciously not stop for pedestians to cross the road if it is raining?  Not if you are considerate.

Have I ever splashed a pedestrian - no I am considerate.

I am not fond of chocolate.   Where it came from is a consideration (are we all expected to know everything), but it is not being inconsiderate, ill mannered or discourteous.

Do I drive, when I could use public transport. What is ill mannered, discourteous or inconsiderate about that?   If I was in the bus queue and got the last seat on the bus, and left an old lady at the bus stop - would my getting off the bus to let the old lady get a seat and myself go home to get the car be inconsiderate?

How my pension is invested is not a choice I have, so how I can be considered inconsiderate beggars belief.

Mobile phones - I don't.  I have spent almost 4 years in a foreign country with a UK  mobile on purpose  Nobody rings me, and I dont ring many people.  But I have it in case of an emergency.

Supporting the local community is a matter of choice, not consideration.  Did the local community consider me when I got home from work - Tesco's and Sainsburys did - they were open.

Do you recycle - yes I did when I could.   You meet very nice people at the bottle bank on a  Sunday morning.

I am intrigued - why does me buying a mobile phone prolong the war in the Congo.  Haven't bought one for a while, but interested to know why I shouldn't.

Avoid taxes if you can, evade them tut tut.  I now just don't pay them in the UK  But does that make me inconsiderate, ill mannered and discourteous - I just moved to another country.

Cheap holiday flights cause the expansion of airports, etc etc. etc.  Multinational business do more on that front.  Question from the man in Manhatten?

Do I vote.   This as a question beggars belief, part of the british constitution is that one has the right to vote, not to vote and not tell anyone whether you do or you don't.  How not voting can be considered inconsiderate is ............ I don't know what.

Do I swear.   Yes, normally in private, rarely amongst the general public, and if amongst friends I apologise.


Yes, MC it is NOT only you.

Best regards.
Mary
« Last Edit: February 25, 2003, 09:44:10 pm by Mary_Morgan »
 

John_fraser

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2003, 11:09:21 pm »
No, I’m not a saint. Nor am I a hypocrite, which is why I included many of my own failings in the list. My point was that if we are to complain about others being inconsiderate, we look to see where we are being inconsiderate – i.e. acting  without regard for others: lacking thought or consideration for other people and their feelings.

The remark about the war in the Congo revolves round access to Coltan, a rare earth “element” used in the manufacture of mobile phones. There are a lot of claims and counter claims – as usual – but the biggest source of this is in the Congo. Both sides have – apparently - been using sales of this to finance the fighting. Fighting which is pretty ugly for the local non-combatants. There’s a lot of  sites on the web, but try:
http://www.geocities.com/rodneys_geology/Congo-Coltan.html

Some chocolate is produced from coco beans cultivated using slave labour:
http://whorlpool.905host.net/files/edarchive18.htm

The government’s air traffic forecasts show leisure travel out stripping Business by some margin. So it is “Cheap holiday flights etc, etc…”
http://www.aviation.dft.gov.uk/atfuk2000/annex03.htm
(BTW I love travel and do fly too much, although I hate my business trips to New York)

How many houses have been knocked down to build roads? How many communities split in to by dual carriageways? How many people killed? All because people are in love with the car and are selfish enough to want to drive, even when it causes damage to other people’s life style.

I had thought that all of these were common knowledge - As is the fact that you can invest your money ethically. No one is expected to know everything, but when the facts are available should it make us show more consideration for the people who suffer to support our lifestyles?

Considerate behaviour has always been a mater of choice and you are usually free to be totally inconsiderate if you choose. Just like it is very easy to explain why your own actions aren’t really inconsiderate or selfish.

So while I agree with, get infuriated by and try to avoid doing every one of Mark’s examples – plus a few of my own like speeding, spitting, blocking the box at traffic lights - to expand this out to a “why are people so selfish” is where I draw the line. No Mark it isn’t just you, it’s all of us. All of us being both selfish and inconsiderate and complaining about others doing it.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2003, 11:15:03 pm by John_fraser »
 

Offline MC

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2003, 11:39:34 pm »
Holy Cow.

I say again.  I am talking about simple things that are entirely governed by the persons choice of action. Not things that include aspects influenced by other forces.

So while a lot of what you say may be true John - if slightly bizarre frankly - I believe it is off topic.

There is for example nothing that forces a person to park on a verge but there are influences that force people to use cars rather than public transport.

Perhaps apart from the oddly widened scope we are all just agreeing strenuosly anyway.

Depressing innit? (not the agreeing, the status quo)

Re the dog that does wander around near here you are right Anna but if it's the one I'm thinking of it belongs to someone 4 doors up from us and based on my experience of it's actions I would be very surprised if it had trotted all the way down to us and "performed"

The mystery is still open.

MOGC or OPAUSC then?

M

 

Offline jet

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2003, 12:17:37 am »
There is a dog in peplins which quite happilly walks its self around the block as if it owns the place, remarkable to see and politer than most humans I come across, always stops for a stroke and a chat.
Well I bow down in the prescence of the master of wind up merchants JF although of course he is so altruistic as to not see it ( or does he ;))
At least he has got the gang posting after Marks thread opener and to quote some one or other " I may not agree but I will defend his right to have his say" well untill the EU finally throw me in the slammer for dissent or as brother Ken would say "civil disobedience" quote.
I have just witnessed a car overtake a car that was about to turn right into the Gardens from BBR, it was at high speed, I wonder if the overtaken car even knew he was there. thats not inconsiderate its plain stupid.
regards,
jet
 

John_fraser

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2003, 12:46:40 am »
Ok I admit it; I don’t get the point of this thread! What are we talking about here? Selfishness? Bad neighbours? Dogs lacking bowl control? Minor grumbles? Or is it a general, Daily Mail style, hankering for a mythical golden age when people were polite, children quiet, summers hot, Christmases white and everyone knew their place?

BTW I bought my house in the property slump, having lived in cities all my life, so am I an undesirable? May explain why I can’t see that people are any different now than they have ever been.
 

Offline Aloo

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2003, 07:14:22 pm »
I'm aware of two dogs that fairly frequently seem to roam around Peplins:

Dog 1 is a oldish chocolate lab

Dog 2 is a large old spaniel

I've seen both dogs defecating on the verge over the last 12 months and advised the owners.    

In the last few weeks I've only seen the spaniel running wild.



 

Offline Mermaid

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #15 on: February 26, 2003, 10:30:44 pm »
Um, I was going to post, but feel a bit wary - a bit like that moment when you finally dip a toe in the water and then the monster wave crashes down on top of you!

So I'll just settle for - what does OPAUSC stand for?
 

MikeL

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #16 on: February 27, 2003, 02:53:02 pm »
Other People Are Utter S**** Club
 

Offline Margaret

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #17 on: March 02, 2003, 09:23:41 am »
I do feel that if everybody was considerate in the little things in life, like politeness and being aware of others needs then bigger issues like the war in the Congo would be wider known and considered. Anna I take it you didn't know any of the children who were swearing because if you did a word to the headmistress of BP would not go amiss. Although this is probably not the right place (not sure) please could the ******* who stole my Union Jack from outside the United Reformed church a few Wednesdays ago please return it. So if your child (in Oaklands Area) arrived home with a large Union Jack! Need I say more. >:( >:(
 

Offline jet

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #18 on: March 02, 2003, 02:10:39 pm »
Dear M,
why assume its a child, I thought all mummys darlings around here were beyond reproach?
Just think if I had said that :o
regards,
jet
 

Offline Margaret

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #19 on: March 04, 2003, 10:33:17 am »
We believe it to be a young lad as he was seen walking across the car park stuffing a large brightly coloured object under his coat. But being trusting souls we didn't think anything of it until we noticed our flag was missing.
Of course I could be wrong in which case I appologise to all the youngsters. (But I don't think I am)
 

Offline Mermaid

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #20 on: March 04, 2003, 10:02:57 pm »
Hands up all those who think that Jet did it..............
 

Offline jet

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2003, 12:17:51 am »
reference the flag,blag
public suggestion construes a defamation,
I think someones house may be now mine?
regards,
jet
plus we have 2 of our own anyway :P
 

Offline Mermaid

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #22 on: March 05, 2003, 03:31:49 pm »
OK, OK I'll try to be serious! Also, please note that I am technically very daft and haven't yet worked out how to attach smilies like the rest of you clever So and So's!!

Margaret, I was very sorry to hear that you've lost your flag. Any idea of the approximate age of the boy that you think may have picked it up by mistake? If you can pin it down to Primary or Secondary School age, then perhaps you could drop a line to the local schools asking them to make an announcement in Assembly that it's been lost and anyone finding it could please hand it in to the Post Office (or similar). Also, A4 notices in a couple of the village shop windows may help - particularly Alldays and Mahur's. I guess you've got to make sure that it reads as if it's been lost, not taken, then you may stand more chance of getting it back. Good luck!
 

Offline Margaret

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2003, 10:16:40 am »
Thanks Mermaid for the info, the flag was only a cheap one and not worth bothering the schools etc. The point is if my child suddenly arrived home with a huge Union Jack I would want a thorough explanation of where it came from and there is some parent out there who knows where it is. Also it is sad to think that a child could take it after all it was pretty well tied down and I very much doubt if it had blown off, and if it did how come no effort was made to find out who it belongs too.
To attach smilies just click on the one you want. :o ??? :( >:( :) :) :) :) :)
 

Offline James Bentall

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2003, 11:32:42 am »
Doubt it made it home. When one of our scout banners advertising the jumble sale was removed last year in Welham Green (along with the four metal stakes holding it down!), I eventually found it behind a bin on the nearby allotments.  ::) Like so many other petty annoyances, it was probably just down to boredom.

You've probably got more chance of finding the flag by asking people nearby to check their hedges and back gardens....

James
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I post in a personal capacity and not on behalf of North Mymms Parish Council
 

Offline MC

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Re: Is it me?
« Reply #25 on: April 02, 2003, 04:50:56 pm »
If you want to know whether it is "you" then I strongly suggesting watching the traffic in the village on a Saturday morning.

If you turn up early you can plant your car in a space and watch the proceedings in comfort. It is a truly awesome experience. I was there for 10mins last weekend and the level of selfishness was staggering.

Witness the driver who could not fit his car in the short space and so just drove onto the pavement so that the back was parked in the space but the front was 10ft onto the pavement. All so he didn't have to walk too far to the Post Office.

Gasp at the car being driven down the pavement because they can't wait for someone to park.

Scream as people park on yellow lines and create pinch-points just so they don't have to walk too far to the newsagents.

Sigh at the level of simply bad driving and bad parking.

Curse at the level of simply selfish behaviour

It's all there folks. Local consideration in a microcosm played out in real-time on Saturday mornings.

;D ;D

Mark
« Last Edit: April 02, 2003, 05:58:55 pm by admin »
 

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